You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
