We won't sleep together?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
