what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize