There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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