You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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