so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
