Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize