With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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