This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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