Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
