Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
