Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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