i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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