similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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