My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
