You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize