It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize