I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
