Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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