I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
