By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
