It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
