Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
