If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
