So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
