I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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