I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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