Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
