the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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