Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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