Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
