Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
