i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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