We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
