oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
