FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
