those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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