Just mADE A PArabola og urine
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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