So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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