we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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