Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
