okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
