i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
