worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
