so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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