i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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