We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
