Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
