I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
