The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
