Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
