im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
