i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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