Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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