I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
