If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
