Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
