You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
