I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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