i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
