everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize