im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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