I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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